Analysts Predict Taylor Swift Will Run Out of Album Names Soon, Will Need to Settle For 'Dumbledore'

By Ashley Wang | Pop Culture |

For pop music fans, Taylor Swift’s two surprise album releases were one of the few highlights of a dark, overwhelming year. Fans may need to curb their excitement, though, as it’s likely Swift’s creative capacity will dwindle quickly. The Pasquinade contacted high-level insiders in the music industry, who all predicted various ways she could show signs of album release burnout.


“I think she’ll have to resort to ridiculous names for her next albums. Like, what else could you even rhyme with folklore and evermore? Dumbledore? Lakeshore? Barn door? I guess that works for country.”


Another insider was more optimistic about Taylor’s options: “She already has Red, so why not go through all the other colors of the rainbow? Same with 1989 - just list all the years in modern history before 2020! Album naming should be super easy for her.”


One music magazine photographer told us, “I’ll be honest, Taylor’s album covers have been disappointing me lately. We went from youthful country sensation to refined pop diva to whatever photoshopped mess Lover was. Then, folklore plunged us straight into the woods, and evermore just shows a boring braid I do for my daughter every day. It feels uninspired. I wouldn’t be surprised if her next album cover is a crying selfie.”


Another concern fans might have is Taylor running out of song titles - in particular, running out of outdated female names that won’t become politically charged. One songwriter informed us he was worried she might accidentally glamorize the names of more conspiracy theorists — after “marjorie” was tainted by the recent prominence of Marjorie Taylor Greene in the news.


“I don’t care if it was the name of Taylor’s grandmother,” he said. “With song titles like ‘betty’ and ‘dorothea,’ you’re bound to accidentally name-drop a white supremacist.”


We can’t wait to see what happens next with Taylor, album release burnout or otherwise.