Apple's New "AirPods 3" Sees Massive Success

By Mark Hubertus | National News

In a shocking and unexpected new video, apple revealed that its new AirPods 3 will be much bigger and sturdier than previous models. With a height of one foot and weighing 30 pounds, the new AirPods will be able to function as both a speaker and a personal music player. According to Apple CEO Tim Cook, “In speaker mode, the AirPods 3 will broadcast music for anyone to hear over a 10-mile radius.” Unfortunately, Apple has not yet added an adjustable volume feature for the speaker mode, but plans to do so in a later model. When asked about how the device would be transported, Cook said, “Users will be able to purchase a wireless charging dual AirPod case and backpack for a small fee.” The current price of the AirPods 3 is $999, with the backpack raising the total price to $3,999.


The vast majority of Apple product reviewers who gained early access to the device deemed it a “waste of money” and claimed it was “the worst product Apple has ever created.” One reviewer claimed the speaker mode was “deafeningly loud”, and that the backpack was “extremely uncomfortable and heavy”.


Despite these scathing reviews, the new AirPods saw massive success upon their announcement. Immediately following the upload of the company’s release video, a tidal wave of customers stormed the Apple site to preorder the AirPods, which crashed the website multiple times. On twitter, many people complained about the repeated crashes. Joshua Wang, a popular youtube influencer, tweeted, “The Apl sight keep f****** crashing I cant get these dumb pointless f****** AirPods!!!!”. Wang’s post garnered over 5 million retweets. Patricia Star, another influencer, tweeted, “I can’t preorder these useless, dumb, idiotic, expensive, annoying AirPods! Y’all need to GET OFF THE SITE so I can buy them NOW!!!” Star’s tweet currently has 20 million likes.


Based on the current trends, world-class mathematician and economist Regina Bernaye predicts the new AirPods will be “the best-selling Apple product in history.” However, only time will tell if this is truly the case.