By Mark Hubertus |
As of April 10, 2020, the Easter Bunny has been admitted to a COVID-19 ward.
The hospitalized hare put out this statement on Twitter: “Although I’m unwell, the show must go on. As such, I am accepting applications online to deliver eggs. Please volunteer!”
Good for you, bunny! We all admire your dedication.
The bunny’s statement garnered a wave of support online. Twitter user Egbert Malone, a garbage collector, wrote, “I just cannot wait to hand out all of these eggs to the children in my community!”
Esther Yolker, a sewage cleaner, agreed. “Easter WILL NOT be cancelled because of some silly virus. Like the bunny said, the show must go on!”
As of now, over 100,000 volunteers have agreed to deliver eggs for Easter. Oddly, a large proportion of them come into contact with trash and other unsanitary materials on a daily basis. Hopefully they wash their hands!
UPDATE: As of April 11, 2020, 500,000 new cases of COVID-19 have appeared among families who received eggs from volunteers. It is unclear whether the virus was able to survive on Easter Eggs.
We will keep our readers updated as this story develops. Stay safe out there.