By Anusha Veluri | National News |
The Samuels family woke up at 7am on a Saturday morning, hopped in their mini van, and excitedly drove to what they believed to be their local vaccine center. To their dismay, upon their arrival they saw a line that was almost one mile long. Being the troopers they are, the Samuels family got out of the car, the decided to get in the back of the line, like true, fair Americans.
Janice Samuels told us, "We waited for about five hours, maybe more. And when we finally gained sight of the front of the line, we were simply astounded."
They were astounded because that was the moment they realized that this was a line to Dominique Ansel Bakery, not a vaccine center. Everyone at the front of the line was not getting a dosage, but rather an infamous "cronut," (a combination of croissant and donut). The family was devastated.
"We were so looking forward to the vaccine, and a step in the direction of social freedom, and that was taken away from us today." Robert Samuels told us, with tears in his eyes.
We at The Pasquinade can definitely understand the devastation one would feel in their position. But being the troopers they are, the Samuels family prevailed!
"After waiting in the line so long, we decided to go ahead and get the cronuts. And turns out, they are amazing! Totally worth the wait, and now that we think about it, eating a cronut definitely beats out getting stabbed by a needle. In fact, we were thinking, instead of rescheduling our vaccine appointment, maybe we will just get a cronut instead," the couple told us with a straight face.
To end the article, The Pasquinade would like to issue a statement: Be sure to differentiate between cronuts and vaccines, Americans. They are DIFFERENT things! It is very easy to confuse them, so make sure to ask your local doctor to make sure you have signed up for a vaccine, and not a cronut. Stay safe!