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Government Grants Vaccine Priority To Cast of "Pitch Perfect," Due To Pressing Need For 4th Movie

By Anusha Veluri | National News |

In a statement to The Pasquinade, president of the CDC, Robert Redfield, told us that the first people to receive the vaccine will in fact be the cast of Pitch Perfect. He told us, "The only thing on America's mind right now seems to be the lack of a fourth Pitch Perfect movie! It's weighing down on the mind of every household, every family, every child. It's all America wants! So myself and my colleagues at the CDC made the decisive choice to grant the prestigious cast and crew of the Pitch Perfect franchise, vaccine priority! I think this will be a popular decision!"

Robert, it is most definitely a popular decision among the employees of The Pasquinade! With actresses like Anna Kendrick and Elizabeth Banks, we cannot think of anyone who would deserve it more! Right on, CDC!

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