How To Get On Your Teacher's Good Side: A Millburn Student's Guide to Glory

By Anusha Veluri | MHS NEWS |

At Millburn High School, every student races to raise their hand, turn in their homework, give their teacher an apple on the first day of school, in hopes that their teacher will begin to think fondly of them. We at The Pasquinade are here to tell you that you've been going about this all wrong. After speaking with the most esteemed experts in the country, here is what we have found to be an impeccable guide to a teacher's good side.


Step 1. Don’t participate.


Teacher’s aren’t inclined to like a student that dominates the classroom with their voice. They like the student that is quiet, confusing, and mysterious. Sarah Jones, calculus professor at Yale University explains, “When my students respond to questions, I always get taken aback. It's not polite, and to be quite frank, it's not normal! Like, shut up.”


So true, Sarah! Sorry you have to deal with tricky situations like that.


Step 2. Always ask, “Are you finished grading our assessment?”


Teachers love to be kept on their toes. Motivation is key to any job, and teaching is no exception.


Step 3. Do homework for other classes in front of your teacher.

Teachers like to know that you feel confident enough in the subject that you don’t even have to pay attention. Rocky Solomon, pedagogical expert from Johns Hopkins tells us, “It’s important to demonstrate nonchalance in certain situations, and school is the perfect setting. Teachers love to see a lack of interest in their students; It leaves them feeling confident, relaxed, and ready for whatever the future holds.”


Great findings, Dr. Solomon. Rock on!


Step 4. Make sure to get your homework from other people.


Collaboration is key, and teachers are aware of that. They love to see students working together, and letting your friends do your homework for you really exemplifies that. As a great academic musical once said, we are all in this together!


Step 5. Always lie!


Teachers love to know that their students have a wily side. As we said earlier, it’s a lot easier for teachers to love you if they know who you are, and being a liar is a great personality trait to show them! Tell them “My printer exploded,” every day. Or say, “My great grandmother passed away, again.” This is a great tactic, and an even greater personality developer. Get to work, students!

So remember, don't be yourself, and don't let any part of the student-teacher relationship feel natural. Can’t wait to see these strategies in action; All the best!