In 2017, Professional Egg Cracker Paid $3,000 In Taxes Next To Trump's $750

By Anusha Veluri | National News |

Esther Domine begins every workday just like anyone else: gets out of bed, brushes her teeth, drives to work. Here's the catch, she has made a profession out of egg cracking! From 9-5, she cracks eggs. The way that Esther cracks eggs has been described by previous employers as aesthetic, gallinaceous, and refined. Rock on, Esther! Although her profession is a prized one, Esther tells us that it does not pay well, and that it is hard to buy even bare necessities. But Esther perseveres because she has an insatiable passion for egg cracking, and she won't be stopped!. Rock on! At this point, you readers may be asking yourself why Esther is relevant.


Well, it was recently discovered that the income taxes Trump has paid are so meager that people like Esther, who have barely enough money to scrape by, are contributing more to the country that millionaires! Esther Domines, someone who cannot even afford a bathroom, pays more in taxes than Donald Trump. Upon hearing this, we at The Pasquinade were appalled and disgusted. So we took it upon ourselves to compile a list of other outraged citizens who have also paid more than Trump in taxes.

Toe Hair Braider
Hot Sauce Enthusiast
Beyoncé Stan (Beyhive member)
Facebook Intern
Star Gazer
Hiking Companion

Among others. This. Is. Blasphemous. American rich, do better.