In Honor of April Fools, Fox News Publishes A Fact-Based Article

By Anusha Veluri | National News |

On April first, Fox News President Suzanne Scott was feeling like a trickster. According to an insider, Scott told the Fox News Writing Staff, "I've been feeling a little wily recently; today, we are going to do something that will send a shockwave through the nation." Her staff looked on, excitedly, thinking that she had a fun April Fools prank in mind. Never in their wildest dreams, did they expect what she had to say next.


"We are going to publish an article that is based on the truth."


Gasps could be heard ringing throughout the conference room. Fox employees were taken aback, and the entire room soon burst into an angered clamor. "T-t-truth?", one employee asked, clearly disoriented and in a state of shock. One writer named Gary Roberts, aged 63, collapsed from the absurdity of Scott's suggestion, and later died.


Despite the reluctance of Fox staff, the prank did in fact succeed. America was shocked. One avid Fox News follower had this to say: "Is this article... accurate? What blasphemy!" Fox News ratings dropped 30% after Scott's prank, but she claims that "it was worth it."


Well, we at The Pasquinade were certainly fooled! Good going, Scott!