Lab Results Are In: You're Not A Taurus, You're Just A Bitch

By Anusha Veluri | National News |

Astrology is the study of celestial bodies and their influence on humans. It's quite an engrossing subject, but there have always been people who give it a little too much credence. Like, a suspicious, concerning amount.


In recent months, there has been a surge of people who attribute all of their actions (and corresponding consequences) to their astrological sign. In fact, one woman, Susan Wright, who had committed murder and been found guilty of mass drug sale, defended all of crimes by "typical Aries persistence and determination."


With this overconfident reliance on astrology has come a movement to stop the justification of terrible, immoral personalities on signs. Leader of the movement Justine Little had this to say: "To all the Susans out there, please hear me when I say, you're not a Taurus, you're just a bitch."