New Wifi Blockers In Reservation Leave Millburn Helpless and Confused

By Stephen Cheng |

Last Thursday, Millburn park rangers installed Wifi blockers throughout our beloved South Mountain Reservation. In their act of desecration, they have banned wifi access and data usage.


Park ranger Sandra Harris justifies her actions, claiming that she was only trying to help Millburn: “We think people need to get off their phones more and really appreciate nature through the naked eye, not through the lens of an iPhone 11.”


As if!


Alicia Key, a former fan of the reservation, speaks the voice of reason: “What’s the point of going somewhere if you have no way of proving you went there? I can't believe they did this to us. It's unfair, and honestly, it's rude.”


You tell them Alicia!

Without access to Tik Tok or Instagram, it’s almost as if the park rangers are asking people not to go to the South Mountain Reservation. Are they trying to loose business. Now, we can only hope that park rangers eventually come to their senses, and realize what nature is really all about: Wifi.