Perdue Reveals He DID Attend The Georgia Senate Debate, But Accidentally Used Magic To Dematerialize

By Mark Hubertus | National News |

Incumbent Sen. David Perdue (R) has been antagonized online for seemingly refusing to attend a debate against his opponent, Jon Ossoff (D), for the upcoming Georgia Senate Election. Ossoff, who debated an empty podium, took every opportunity to slam Perdue.


“It shows an astonishing arrogance and sense of entitlement for Georgia’s senior U.S. senator to believe he shouldn’t have to debate at a moment like this in our history,” Ossoff said. "Your senator is refusing to answer questions and debate his opponent because he believes he shouldn't have to. He believes this Senate seat belongs to him. This Senate seat belongs to the people."


Georgians immediately took to twitter. James H. Trotter, a peach farmer, wrote, “David Perdue is a coward & crook”. Trotter’s tweet got 50 million likes. Peach Smith, a retired grandmother, wrote, “David Perdue, I hate you.” She received 30 million likes.


Ms. Smith, you sure have a way with words!


In the aftermath of the debate, 538 polls indicated a 15-point jump in Ossoff’s lead, indicating a major landslide for the coming election. Or so we thought.In a shocking new tweet, Perdue revealed that he “accidentally touched an ancient tome that dematerialized my body as I prepared to walk on stage.” As such, he was “physically unable to participate.”


Many Georgians immediately felt guilty for condemning him. Georgina Nectarina wrote, “Imagine the sense of helplessness he must’ve felt as he tried to walk on stage and realized his body was gone! If we don’t vote for him, he might lose all his confidence and blow away! #Perdue2020”.


George Gorge wrote, “Poor guy! He was there, just invisible! I knew there was an explanation. #Perdue2020!”As of now, Perdue is ahead of Ossoff in the polls by 30 points, deemikng him the likely winner of the election.