By Anusha Veluri | National News |
Although snapping pictures of wild animals has become increasingly difficult (these stars are now very aware of us paparazzi), on March 6th, The Pasquinade photography team was able to snag a photo of this lion on his lunch break.
After he woke up, we approached him, and he reluctantly spoke to us, only after gaining approval from his publicist. He told us,"I've found that the key to this show is just to act natural. My grandfather gave me that advice right before he passed."
How touching, lion! And what great advice. The lion then went on to tell us about the contracts he and other animals have with National Geographic. He informed us that all animals are unionized, which was very clearly important to him. He did have some gripes, though. "HR is utterly incompetent. And to think they get paid the same as us? How ridiculous," he complained, bitterly.
As the day went on, while watching from the sidelines, Pasquinade reps were able to catch dozens of animals working with dialect coaches.
"No, no. It's not CAW. It's more guttural: CAUGH, CAUGH," one coach sternly told a newly hired crow.
Hours later, we were able to listen in on a conversation between the director and a monkey. The director said, "so when the cricket approaches you, I want you to veer right, scratch your bottom, and then maybe sit down, as if confused, but also perspicacious at the same time, but also a bit sensual as well?" The monkey nodded vigorously, and before making her way to her mark, kindly decided to speak with a representative from The Pasquinade. We asked the monkey who her inspirations were, and she told us in a refined British accent, "I derive most of my acting methods from Joaquin Phoenix. I find his acting to be veracious, and quite magnificent. "
We at The Pasquinade concur! Joaquin Phoenix is a talent from the Gods. Easy on the eyes, as well!
The monkey that we spoke to then went on to scratch her bottom, and after seventeen takes, the director was finally satisfied. You can watch that absolutely riveting footage on Wednesday at 8PM Eastern. There is true talent, true humanity, and passion among every single cast member of of National Geographic. Don't miss out!