Reliable Insider Claims That Trump Won't Concede Because He Doesn't Understand The Electoral College

By Anusha Veluri | Politics |

On Saturday, November 14th, The Pasquinade spoke with a historically accurate and reliable White House insider. What she told us was shocking.

"Everyone thinks that Trump won't concede because he's obstinate, stubborn, and immature. But actually, it's because he doesn't understand that he lost. He just doesn't get it, no matter how many times we explain."

Wow, Cindy! That must be tough for the staff! As we continued to speak to Cindy—whoops, we mean, our reliable insider— we collected a series of questions our president has asked in the wake of the election:


"Why does Alaska get to vote? Do people even live there?"

"What do the colors represent? Favorite candy flavor?"

"Why are there 538 electoral votes? It's so, like, random! Is it because 5+3=8?"


Countless other questions were posed by Donald, leaving his team concerned and exasperated. Our insider told us that the White House team gives Trump daily lessons, in hopes that he will finally realize that he lost and concede. Until then, we can only play a waiting game! We at The Pasquinade will keep you informed with any updates.