Trump Admits: 'I am actually a pale brunette, disguised to distract from my terrible personality.'

By Anusha Veluri | National News |

On June 30th, with the entirety of America watching, Donald Trump admitted to monthly self-tanning appointments, and biweekly hair bleaches. He finally debunked one of the biggest controversies of his administration and claimed in a tweet, "I know I am a sexist, racist, lewd, completely unethical person, lol. But I knew from the beginning that some people would be too caught up in my skin to even notice."

Well, Trump, according to polls, data, and mere common sense, people sure as hell noticed, despite your disgusting appearance, or maybe even because of it. Yet another failed campaign strategy we need to add to the list.

And, we at The Pasquinade are positing that a pale brunette Trump would be even more disturbing than his current appearance. Donald, the bottom line is, brunette, blonde, gray, orange, purple, maroon, magenta, we all, still, hate you. A lot.