With Garbanzo Bean Salads Now Politicized, Americans Just Hopeful Pizza/Burgers Remain Bipartisan

By Anusha Veluri | National News

The chief executive, Mr. Unanue, of primary garbanzo bean company, GOYA, recently praised Donald Trump for his leadership skills, which majority of the country would argue are either terrible, or nonexistent. Americans and celebrities like Chrissy Teigen are boycotting GOYA, and buying their beans has become a political statement.


Surprisingly, for most Americans, boycotting garbanzo beans doesn't really entail a lifestyle change. Most citizens that The Pasquinade interviewed were simply scared that the recent 'food polarization trend' would spread to foods that 'people actually eat.'


Americans are very weary of pizza places and burger restaurants taking a political stance. However, health expert Giovanni Adèla tells us, "As America is morbidly obese, the politicization of fatty foods would actually be a blessing in disguise. Let's hope that all fast food CEO's soon come out in support of a political candidate, and split that obesity rate in half! We got this!"


So, we know that GOYA Garbanzo bean consumption has dropped steeply. Will other cuisines see similar drops? Only time will tell.