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Your 101 Guide to College Applications: Millburn Edition

By Hannah Rubinstein | Local News |

  1. Apply to every (and I mean every) college that sends you an email. Who cares that their acceptance rates range from 95% to 2%? If they email you, it would be extremely rude not to apply.

  2. Listen to everything Naviance dictates, because it is always right. Sure, they might tell you that University of Pennsylvania is a safety school despite its 8.4% acceptance rate, and they also tell you that 50 students were accepted to Rutgers despite only 40 applying, but just go with it. They are right on a level us simpleton humans can never understand.

  3. Send questions that you can easily google to your Admissions Counselors. Ask questions like: Do you have fraternities? How many students go to your school? Extra bonus points if it's clear that you have copy and pasted this email to 50 other schools. It is important to seem like you have other options.

  4. Finally, optional Essays are jus that, optional. So just don’t do them! Why spend time writing an essay when it's obviously not necessary. However, to spice up your application, answer yes to “have you convicted a felony”, even if you haven't. Schools are tired of hearing the same applicant sob story over and over again! They are looking for something shiny and new; Let criminal activity be your golden ticket.

That is all the advice you need. We at The Pasquinade wish you the best of luck. Go Tigers!

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